suspense

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Suspense is the state of feeling excited and anxious all at the same time, the paradoxical comfort zone of contradiction and counterbalance. The discomfort we feel in times of change is often a sign that we need to stay on our toes and trust in the transcendent nature of suspense.  She is the sacred storyteller of the gods, dispensed to help us manage our emotional trajectory by infusing us with an enthusiastic hopefulness. 

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.  - Oscar Wilde

We have this love hate relationship with suspense, on the one hand we love the excitement of its unprecedented outcomes and on the other hand we loathe the apprehension and fear that emerges in the moment of uncertainty. 

The etymology of the word suspense suggests that life is a balancing act of precarious proportions where my decisions are the indeterminate guesswork of my evolving self-confidence. It’s as if I can’t just leave things to the hands of fate alone, I must make a call and trust in the deep desires of my heart even if they are convoluted and somewhat self-indulgent.

Suspended in my consciousness is the destiny of my becoming, the hidden purpose of my life, a spark of the divine that has been formulating in me since the beginning of time.

It reminds me that I am not just making this up as I go along, but rather I am  listening to an ancient echo that is helping me lean into that which is awakening in my life.

There are times in our lives where we wish we had been more aware, especially in our younger years, but truth be told the ‘delay’ of awareness was the divine mandate of providence that works to the beat of its own drum, the holy drama of an unfolding narrative.

Every story needs an element of suspense - or it's lousy. - Sydney Pollack

The plots of our personal storylines  have never been a smooth ride devoid of emotional extremes, the broad spectrum of feelings that range from from elation to despair and everything in between, which often highlights the nature of suspense in all of its nuance.   

The important thing to remember is that our desire for a happily ever after still remains the dominant hope of the human soul, and regardless of the awkward nature of circumstantial variance our longings will continue to fuel our imagined hopefulness.

When we are suspended in between the now-and-not-yet,  waiting for direction from above the key is to be patient with the process and know that mystery and meaning are colluding together to shape our future and destiny. This is a reminder that we are not in control but fully dependent on the outside forces of the great cosmic plot for mankind. 

Suspense is in charge of the conclusion so don’t try to work everything out, just endeavour to enjoy the journey and remember that love is working all things together for the good of those who believe in happily ever afters.